I am feeling yucky today. I am not feeling very good and I am tired. Not like sleepy tired, I just have no energy today. Hmmph. I wish that I didn't work today, so I could just lay on my bed and watch Angel the whoooolllee day.

"Look at my clean unswiped card and then look at your little maxed out mess"

So I was at Superstore yesterday and some guy that worked there came up to me about getting a Mastercard, so I signed up. It is supposed to come in the mail in about 2-3 weeks. I am excited. Though most people may think mine will be a maxed-out mess, it won't be. It is for buying concert tickets and stuff on the internet that I know I have the money for and can pay it back by the time that I get my bill. I am going to be very responsible with my beautiful card :D

I had a strange dream that my school went to Winnipeg and went to the mall. I think it was supposed to be St. Vital Mall except it looked nothing like it. And I went into American Eagle and stuff and then I met this guy and my principal (He isn't even my principal anymore, but still. He was in this dream) kept on telling me that I couldn't converse with anybody who wasn't from our school. It was soooo strange. And then Megan was suddenly there, which she wasn't before, and we saw all of these carriages with people in them. Some model who I can't remember who we called her. Somebody else that I don't remember and then Big & Rich were in the last one. And I kept going on and on about how gorgeous John is. Megan was annoyed. haha. But yeahhh, that is what happened. It was a very strange dream.

I always said that if Big & Rich ever came to Winnipeg that I would join their fan club so I could meet them. But I forgot about that until just now. That would be cool. I think they would be a little intimidating to meet. It is hard to explain. But I think they are really nice guys just with a little bit of an inflated ego that's all.

Monday night I had the pleasure of seeing Big & Rich in concert. It was fucking nuts. It was like a freak parade!

Emerson Drive was the first opener. They were soooo good. Brad has such a strong, pure voice. They drove through most of their hits in their 30-40 minute set. He is pretty easy on the eyes too. I would definitely, definitely go see them again. When they sang 'Devil Went Down To Georgia', it ROCKED. Their fiddle player was massively amazing!

Next was Terri Clark. I wasn't really looking forward to her, but she ended up really impressing me. I do enjoy most of her songs and she is really funny and a good entertainer. She sang for about an hour.

And then the insanity broke loose. Two Foot Fred (He is literally two feet, but anyone who is any kind of a Big & Rich fan already knew about him) came out first and did a little bit of a comedy routine. And then Cowboy Troy came out and rapped a few songs. I like him as the host of Nashville Star, but he pretty much sucked when it came to performing ... but it was still pretty cool to see him, he is massive. Like 6'5" or something crazy like that. And then with all of the strobe lights and hype, Big & Rich rose up onto the stage and started to sing 'Radio'. John Rich was wearing a fur coat (I was not happy about this, that's for sure), Glitter jeans, cowboy hat and hollywood sunglasses. While Big Kenny wore his signature top hat and a jacket with fur trim (Didn't really look real, so that was all okay) So they sang some hits, and then a contest with some kids, gave them all signed guitars (Damn them! I wanted one!) ... sang some more songs ... and after they sang 'Coming to your City' they released a bunch of pink confetti into the audience. And at random times Big Kenny would start throwing money into the audience, I wish it would have been able to reach where we were sitting, haha I could have used that.

So they sang 'Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy' at the end and before that 'Loud' which is one of my favourite songs, WOO HOO :)
And then they came back out onstage for the encore, and I think they sang 'Rollin', it was kind of a big confusion with all of the chaos that was going on onstage. Big Kenny was wearing a light-up jacket ... yes, I'm serious ... and then John Rich lit his guitar on fire and after it cooled down he broke it and gave it to somebody in the audience ... LUCKYYYY!!!! So looking past the arrogance and glitter jeans, John Rich is one sexy thing! When he took a bow to our section of the stadium, I nearly melted. He's sexy sexy.

So we didn't get home until almost 3 in the morning, and fun was had by all ... and like Big & Rich say ... LOOOVVVVEEE EVERYBODY!!!!

So I am legal in the whole province of Manitoba today. To me it isn't even about the drinking at all, it is about the freedom. I can make a difference into what happens in my country with my vote, I can buy lottery tickets, I am not restricted from any buildings, I can safely go see R rated movies, sit in the lounge and do slots. I actually matter in society.

I've gotten some exciting things so far and I still haven't opened up any presents from my mother!! Yaaaayyyyyyy!

I feel good being eighteen. Like a breath of fresh air. I never feel any different when I hit a birthday, but this year I am feeling a little bit of a change. I am an adult and I am to be taken seriously. It is an exciting new chapter in my life :) Go me :P

I am very glad that the english exam is over. It was pretty easy but it is still nice to get that over with that's for sure!

I think the universe showed me an eensy teensy growth of hope for love. I wish the universe would show me that love really does exist. I had an encounter with somebody who I will not name, the other day, and it made me feel really good.

Yesterday was actually the first day of 2008 where I felt happy. It was also the anniversary of when I first saw Hilary Duff in concert, 3 years ago I guess. Oh beauty :)

Sometimes I feel kind of like Buffy. Not necessarily in any seasons but 6 and 7. Because after she comes back from the dead she cuts herself off from pretty much everybody. Except she has Spike. If only I had a Spike, or Spike would work out just fine for me :P Hahaha.

4 days until my birthdayyy ... I hope it is a good birthday ... you never know with the way that this year is going.

I just hope that the universe listens to my plea :)

So today was better than most days this year. I just want this all to end. I am tired of being sad and lonely.

Law was horrible, Mr. Hubbard interrupted my presentation and barely let me finish and said nothing about my presentation. It was horrible, he is horrible.

I had my English exam today and it went pretty well. The topic is 'fairness' so it was a pretty easy topic, and I am going to write a short story for my main piece too. I'm pretty excited about the whole thing.

I am off to work in a few minutes. It feels like Monday today, I suppose that is a good thing because then the week will go by much faster.

Anyways off I go for another day.

"I've got a theory it doesn't matter, what can't we do if we get in it, apocalypse, we've all been there"

Today was a really lonesome day. Things seem to be falling apart in my hands these days. English was horrible, except for the first ten minutes of talking to a few people, I got a bad mark on an assignment and I had to deal with Filippo and Reagan talking to each other on either side of me. I hate being in the middle of a conversation I am not even in, it is awkward. And Law sucked as always, I just didn't have my heart in it. My mind was somewhere else today. I feel run down. I feel like I have nobody here for me. Buffy always seems to come in handy when I am feeling like a nothing. I can be in Sunnydale for a while and forget about my horrible life.

I hate feeling this way, especially around my birthday. I have no idea what I am doing for my birthday anymore. I know that my mom and I are going out to The Keg for my actual birthday, but I can see it being a very lonely time. Everybody is either too busy or doesn't care enough. I bet I can count on one hand how many people actually even remember.

I adore Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 7. It is all out war. Can't say I like the potential slayers, but the rest of it; Andrew, Buffy & Spike, and the whole hell on earth thing is pretty cool too.

"If they want an apocalypse, oh we'll give 'em one"

I am starting to believe that maybe love truly doesn't exist in our disgusting reality. It's just not there. So many people are so selfish and meaningless. Where has this world come to? What did I do to deserve this? I wish I knew. I can't even face my graduation. Hell, I can't even manage school anymore. Hard is an understatement. It really is. Because I am not a loser because even the losers have friends. I am just a nothing. All of my yearbooks lay blank because I have nobody who could even write anything meaningful to me.

I'm having a hard time with life. Christina doesn't care if Christmas exists or not. She just wants it to be over and she isn't even staying for Christmas dinner. Though my dad thinks she can do no wrong. My mother has been way too busy with her own social life to spend that much, if any time with me anymore. Family is not a meaningful word anymore, but it is rather a hurtful word. Christina believes she does not have any family anymore. And it just seems to get harder and harder every year. I know my parents could never get back together due to certain circumstances, but I wish things were different. Somehow, I wish I could have a family again and go to graduation and cry because I'll miss my friends so bad and all of the amazing times we have had together. I wish I had a guy to dance with. I wish I wasn't put under so much pressure. I wish I could see what love is really like.

I hate being alone. It just hurts too bad. I don't even know if there is a God out there, because if there is, would he put me through all of this pain and suffering? Would he let all of those animals starve, freeze, get beaten?

What is wrong with society? Why do we have to be so hurtful? Why can't we let people in? Why can't we be better people?

I wonder what life would be like if I didn't turn out to be such a loser.

The CMA's this year were superb!! I probably taped every performance, but like 2 or 3, haha.

Carrie won the female vocalist of the year award for the second year in a row, woo hoo!!
Brad Paisley won the male vocalist of the year award. He was so choked up, he had tears in his eyes. It was beautiful, he REALLY deserved it. And he sang 'Online' with the marching band, and Kellie and Taylor were dancing onstage around him like they do in the video, it was VERY cool.
Speaking of Taylor Swift, she did an outstanding job singing, she seemed really nervous at the beginning, but confident at the end, I love 'Our Song'. She also won the Horizon award, and she was shaking she was crying so hard and in disbelief. Her parents were crying, hell Rodney Atkins was almost crying for her. She said it was the highlight of her senior year. haha. She is absolutely amazing.

Carrie Underwood looked like the most gorgeous woman alive that night. She wore almost like a princess soft-yellow dress when she sang, 'So Small', which was absolutely astounding! She also won Single of the Year for Before He Cheats.

Kellie Pickler was bawling her eyes out when she was singing, 'I Wonder', and she usually does because it is such an emotional song, but I think this time she was crying so hard, because she just couldn't believe she was performing at the CMA's in Tennessee.

So many tears, so much joy. It was absolutely amazing. Carrie cried too, everybody was crying. Best CMA's ever, I have never taped an hour of an award show because there were so many great performances and people on there!

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School is being majorly frustrating. I just hate the project that I am doing in English, and my partner, well, I used to think that he was good-looking or whatever, but now he just kind of gets on my nerves. That's what happened with the last guy, except this guy isn't such a jerk, he means well and is so nice, just a tad annoying. hahaha.

The Carnival Ride has officially started spinning its wheels. Carrie's CD has officially leaked onto the internet. I think this CD is gonna kick Linkin Park out of the top selling CD of 2007. Afterall, Some Hearts is still the top selling country CD of 2007. And that is probably one of my favourite CD's ever, and Carnival Ride is probably about 3 or 4 times better than that. These are some of the best songs that I have ever heard -- ever. I hope she comes somewhere nearby for her 2008 tour, it is supposed to be a worldwide tour, so I will just cross my fingers. haha. This CD is definitely being bought October 23rd, first day out, no questions asked. It's our Carrie mission for her to sell one million copies in the first week. I hope it reallly comes true!! I love Carrie, she is such a genius!! And TV appearances GALORRREEEEE!!!!!!! yaaaayyyy!!

Flat On The Floor is the first song on the CD, and she crazily shows the range in her voice just perfectly. It is a very upbeat song that'll be so much to sing along to!

All American Girl is such an amazing song. A typical Carrie song, but that is never been a bad thing, now has it? It's about a father who wants a boy, but they have a girl, and it follows her life because she is afterall an all american girl :)

So Small is of course her first single off this Carnival Ride. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Such a beautiful song and a beautiful message.

Just A Dream is such a beautiful song about a girl who is going to marry somebody from the military, but he gets killed in the war, and she wants it all to be just a dream ... at least that is what I gather from the song, the story isn't perfectly clear. But Carrie's voice is extra gorgeous in this song.

Get Out Of This Town is a feel-good road trip type song. It's a fun song. It's a good one to dance to. And it makes you want to leave and go on a road trip, hahahaha.

Crazy Dreams is such an awesome song. It is about how crazy dreams really do come true, because of course hers did. Just about small town people who take big risks and chances. I love it.

I Know You Won't is VERY typical Carrie, as well. But I just adore it, she has such strength in her voice in this song. It makes you feel empathy towards her because it's about a guy who never calls her and comes home, I think it is supposed to be about a married couple or something.

Last Name is such a FUN song. She meets a guy in a bar after she has had too much to drink, and she does things she regrets and she doesn't even know his last name, and then she goes to Vegas and marries him, and now she doesn't even know her own last name. It is sooo coooool. Very uncharacteristic for who Carrie really is, but it is a fun, cool fictional story.

You Won't Find This is about girl power. The guy leaves her and she tells him once you come back, you won't find me. Gooooooo Carrie!!!

I Told You So is the opposite to you won't find this, she leaves him but she wants him back, but she is scared to call him. I like this song, but it is probably my least favourite on the album, but that doesn't mean that it isn't good!! Every Carrie song has so much potential and intelligence.

The More Boys I Meet is my VERY favourite of hers. I love all of the lyrics, it is such a fun, fun song. She goes through all of these different guys that she dates and can't find anybody that works with her, and she just finds that the more boys she meets, the more she loves her dog.

Twisted is about two people dating who don't really fit together to society. Like Carrie and Tony Romo ... hmmm, coincidence much?? hahahaha. But it is a reallly cool song though!!!!

And last, but definitely not last, The Wheel Of The World. This one is Carrie's favourite. From the lyrics is where she got the idea for her CD title, Carnival Ride. The lyrics are so pretty and so true. It is a definite tearjerker.

And I agree that this album is a lot more country than Some Hearts and that makes it just that much better ... :D

And Carrie is on tons of magazines in the next couple months. I love new CD releases, it brings so much exposure to her. YAAAAAAAAYYY CARRRRRRRRIIEEE!!!!

The show started off with Taylor Swift who rocked the house! She didn't sing very many songs, about 6, but she did SUCH a good job. Sounded so much like the CD. And then Rodney Atkins came out, who toootallly rocked out. He was like "Heck yeah, this is country! Y'all ready?!". He was sooo cool. He performed wayyy better than I thought he would have.

And then after about a half an hour or so, the countdown comes on for Brad to come out, and he bursts out and starts singing Online. He had great animation that he did himself. And he was so fucking sexy, my God!! He sang all sorts of my favourite songs and made many references to Tim Horton's and trouble at the border. He is so freaking talented, and when he sang 'Ticks', it was perfection. He ended it all with I'm Gonna Miss Her (The Fishing Song) and a cover of Prisoner Blues. He played every song with so much happiness, passion and gorgeousness.

5/5 in my books!! Go Brad!!!!!

This is Thanksgiving Day, and I think I will express all of the things that I am very much thankful for :)

-My gorgeous Abbey & Emma, first and foremost.
-My experiences at the humane society.
-My job, I am so blessed to be able to have a job that I just adore.
-My family
-My friends, even though I don't have very many, the ones that I do have are precious.
-My schooling. I am lucky that I don't have to have a full day of schooling, or that I don't have to take math anymore.
-My experiences. How I have met my two biggest idols in the entire world, Carrie Underwood and Hilary Duff. :)
-All of the concerts I have attended, this friday will be my 20th concert, boo yaaaahhhh!!!
-Places I have visited, BC, Fargo, Alberta, etc.
-That I don't have major food allergies, so I can eat what I want
-Harry Potter, I know, loosely picked you'd assume, but am very much thankful for this.
-All of the music that I listen to, and that I am blessed with these people's music.

And I know there are many more that I have forgotten about or haven't included, but I feel like I am a very lucky person :)

School is going okay. Kind of getting annoying ... I can't believe that it is already October!!! Brad Paisley next week!!! Ahhhh, this year has definitely gone by sooooo fast!!!!

Christmas is fast approaching. I know what I am going to get my mom, and half of my dad's present, and Abbey & Emma should definitely be easy. Oh, and I know what I should get for Heidi too. No idea about Megan or Christina yet. Is that all of the people that I have to buy for ... ?? Woowwwww, I feel like I had to buy for so many people. But I guess I am not buying anything for Molly, Jen, Meagan and Aimee this year. No hard feelings, just not really close at the moment. Ohhh yeahhh, and I'll have to get Sam something small. But yeahhh, Christmas should be exciting, and I already know quite a few things that I want to put on my Christmas list, hahaha.

I looked up Journalism courses on the internet. And the closest one is in Regina. And then the rest is in like Alberta, Ontario, Maritimes and BC. So, Regina could be a possibility ... I can't even remember how far it is from here, maybe about 3 hours. But we'll see, it is still a little bit early in my life to be thinking EXACTLY where to go. But at least I know that one is nearby. It'd even be better to be somewhere without awesome shopping, or I could very well be broke ... hahaha. But yeahh, and then it wouldn't be too far to come home or whatever. It isss a good ideaaaa!!!

I am sooooooo hungry. I need to get eating very soon!! I think I will do that now, I'll see ya when I see ya!!

There really hasn't been much to report lately. I had a really good day at work yesterday. I had some very good conversations with customers yesterday :)

I finished reading a book called 'Bookends' the other day. It was kind of shitty until like the last 50 pages. It was dumb ... wooowwwwww, I have nothing to say ... I will write when I have more to say and more time another day ... plus it is 4:35 so naturally I am completely distracted by Hannah Montana.

I have a NEW blog, but I am still keeping this one for personal, my other one is completely different, so keep checking this one, but here is my new one!!

Check it out, and you just might learn something, I should be updating daily!!

http://thepetparadise.blogspot.com/

Not much is going on with me lately. I've been watching a lot of Hannah Montana ... and I got my Learner's Licence :)

I am very much over that guy in my Law class. He's kind of dumb, actually. Actually, there a lot of things I don't like about that class. Particularly the teacher. I mean, he is very nice. But his jokes aren't all that funny, and he is very cold towards animals. And that makes me hate him. And the work is kind of bland, boooooooo.

And we are doing Ethics in English and it is really dumb. And we are watching some stupid movie right now. I would rather be sleeping in thank-you very much.

Daniel Radcliffe has officially ended his press tour for December Boys. He made a stop at the Rachael Ray show on Tuesday. Fuck, that guy just gets more gorgeous everytime I see him. He is funny, rich, talented and hot?!?! my kind of man, and not to mention the fact that he is fucking Harry Potter. He's a God.

I bought myself the Hannah Montana soundtrack yesterday. The first one. It is fantastic :) I also bought the new Kanye West CD too. It is quite good, as well. The music that I am listening to the most right now is Miley Cyrus, Kanye West and Sum 41 ... uhh, diverse much ... ? hahaha.

I wish The Best Of Both Worlds Tour was coming to Canada. That would be one kick ass concert. She is Hannah Montana for half of the concert and then Miley Cyrus for the other half. That would be SOOO cool. But that concert would sell out crazy fast!! Every single one of her concerts in the US have sold out in minutes. It's crazy how much of an impact at 14-year old can make. If I ever do get to see her in a concert, I'd be such a dork during 'The Best of Both Worlds' and 'Who Said'. Those are my favourite songs right now.

But I hate the Family channel right now ... they never play anything in order, so how am I ever supposed to know exactly what is going on???
It might come out on DVD though. Like the whole season, but it is highly likely ... I mean the released one season of Lizzie McGuire and then they just stopped. Sometimes the Disney channel has some crazy ideas. It would be very convenient for it to come on DVD, so I wouldn't have to tape it anymore. I hate VCR's, hahahahaha. I try and avoid using them as much as possible :P

But annnnywayyyyyssss, wow I am droning on and on. wooo.

Who said, who said I can't be superman, I say, I say that I know I can. Who said, who said I won't be president, I say, I say you ain't seen nothing yet

I feel like one of my best friends is gone or something ... I just feel weird being done Harry Potter, I realllly didn't think it would affect me this bad, honestly. I mean, in reality it's a book?! I mean, I am not getting all depressed about it, but I feel a sense of loss. It's just very strange, that's all.

Anywayyyss, I am not even really sure what else to say ... there's this really cool guy in my law class, but I am not too into it. I would rather drool over Daniel Radcliffe actually.

Okay, and whoever commented on my last entry or whatever about Vanessa Hudgens. She is an amazing girl and she made a mistake, so get over it.

So? Were my predictions correct from my previous entry? Well, some of them were. Ron and Hermione, Harry and Ginny all did marry. Harry wasn't the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, they never really say what any of them do for a living, except for Neville. The Herbology Professor ... awwwwwwww !!!

When Harry and Hermione go to Godric's Hollow, where Harry used to live when he was a baby. It was a really sad scene when Harry is holding onto the gate of his old house and he is crying. Also, when he sees his parent's graves. It is really upsetting.

I hate when Ron leaves because he gets all bitchy towards Harry and Hermione and then goes to Bill and Fleur's for a while. I don't like it, it was rude and uncalled for, for him to leave like that. tsk tsk.

When Harry finds the truth out about Dumbledore, and when Harry admits himself to die, and he asks the ghosts of his parents and loved ones, "Does it hurt? Dying?" ... It was very sad :(

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BAHHHH, on another note, school has been going fairly well. I have been enjoying both of my classes very much.

I love Disney. Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus speak out about the Vanessa Hudgens' nude photo scandal. They are so encouraging and supportive of her. Such a Disney family. I love it :) I know none of my friends understand my Disney channel obsessionss. But it doesn't even really matter, because I love it and now it's all okay :)

I am finished. The whole Harry Potter series. It's exciting, yet heartbreaking to know I won't be able to read anymore new adventures of the glorious trio.

Snape ended up being good all along. When he killed Dumbledore, he wasn't acting upon Voldemort's orders, but of Dumbledore's which we figure that out later. And he saved Potter's ass all of the time because Dumbledore and him made a pact because Snape was in love with Lily Potter. Voldemort killed Snape.

The final battle scene in Hogwarts was probably one of best moments of my entire life. I was in tears, I was rejoicing, I was laughing, I was gasping. When Harry conquers Lord Voldemort once and for all, it is so exhilirating.

And Ron and Hermione's kiss!!! It is so spontaneous, kind of like Harry and Ginny's first kiss.

Fred, Tonks and Lupin all die in battle. And Crabbe dies in the fire that he sets off himself to try and get Harry to die. I feel kind of bad for Draco Malfoy in this one though, the loss of his best friend and everything. When Harry almost dies and goes to heaven or King's Cross or whatever. I find that part of the book a little bit strange, but amazing nonetheless.

Dobby's death was too much. I knew it was coming, but it was just so sad. Sadder than Hedwig, Sirius Black or Dumbledore. I probably cried equally to Cedric Diggory's death ... but it was worse. Dobby came to rescue the Trio, Mr. Ollivander, Luna and Dean from the Malfoy's. Successfully disapparates with Luna, Dean and Ollivander. Comes back for Harry, Ron, Hermione and the Goblin. And when they arrived at Bill and Fleur's, Harry looks at Dobby to thank him, and the Godric Gryffindor sword has plummeted through his chest. Elf blood is everywhere and he's ... dying ... Harry tries to save him, but it doesn't work. So, Harry digs Dobby a grave manually, not with his wand like he would usually do, because he thinks Dobby deserves more than that. It's horribly sad. I bawled my eyes out, yet again.